Metallica Again

I liked Conrad's post below, and he's absolutely right: replacing Metallica with some guys who win a reality TV contest and take on the mantle would at this point make absolutely no difference. Hell, if you wanted to listen to new Metallica tunes that don't suck pick up a Trivium album!

Every band wants to “get back to their roots.” And they mean it, they do. They're being perfectly honest. The problem is it's *impossible*for metal bands to return to their roots. They've moved on to a new place in their lives, and so have their fans. They're not scruffy, angry middle-class kids anymore; they're depressed, well-dressed middle-class parents and office workers, trying to figure out what the fuck it all means.

The power of bands like Metallica is irrevocably linked to adolescence and testosterone. It's nigh on impossible to recapture that youthful dream we had when we first heard “…And Justice For All.” The best we can hope for is some songs that aren't godawful, but I suspect that most people just don't give a shit anymore. If I wanna listen to Metallica I'll fire up “Ride the Lightning” or “Master of Puppets” and, just for a fleeting second, feel 15 again. And that's enough. Because pretty soon the real world is going to intrude, and I'll go back to listening to music that means something to me *right now*, at this point in my life.

Just for perspective, there's still a big need for heavy music, it's just that now it's being filled by Hatebreed and Slipknot. They're are this generation's Slayer and Metallica, respectively. And there's still a genuine underground too, in which I still maintain a not insignificant interest.

Josh

Metallica, Take 9

An absolute MUST READ for Metallica fans, concerning their upcoming ninth album.

As far as I’m concerned, Metallica died in a plane crash during the Black Album Tour, but no one told the band. People WANT Metallica to be good, but come on, “Give me Fuel, Give me Fire, Give me THAT WHICH I DESIRE?” WTF? And for the Love of Dog, could someone take that fucking Wah-Wah pedal away from Kirk Hammett?

They can talk all they want about ‘going back to their roots’ and they can fire and hire whomever they want. Hell, fire the entire fucking band, and replace them with teens picked out on a reality TV show.

IF they release good music, THEN I might buy it. This seems to have escaped the band currently calling themselves Metallica.

Conrad Zero LogoYours Darkly,

Conrad Zero

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Cold Activated

Last night’s Jagged Spiral practice was brought to you by Coors Light, and their new “Cold Activated” Bottles. Little did we realize what this meant when we downed the twelve pack between the three of us. After a little investigation, I discovered a difference between a cold beer from the fridge and an empty bottle.

Note the color of the mountains in the label. The cold one has Blue mountains, and the warm one has White mountains! It’s magic! How do the mountains *know*??? We decided that we would track down the head wizard at Coors Brewery, and have them use the same kind of magic on Jagged Spiral’s music instruments, so that when they are played out of time with each other, they will turn blue, so that even if we suck, we will still look cool…

Conrad Zero LogoYours Darkly,

Conrad Zero

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