Metallica, Take 9

An absolute MUST READ for Metallica fans, concerning their upcoming ninth album.

As far as I’m concerned, Metallica died in a plane crash during the Black Album Tour, but no one told the band. People WANT Metallica to be good, but come on, “Give me Fuel, Give me Fire, Give me THAT WHICH I DESIRE?” WTF? And for the Love of Dog, could someone take that fucking Wah-Wah pedal away from Kirk Hammett?

They can talk all they want about ‘going back to their roots’ and they can fire and hire whomever they want. Hell, fire the entire fucking band, and replace them with teens picked out on a reality TV show.

IF they release good music, THEN I might buy it. This seems to have escaped the band currently calling themselves Metallica.

Conrad Zero LogoYours Darkly,

Conrad Zero

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Cold Activated

Last night’s Jagged Spiral practice was brought to you by Coors Light, and their new “Cold Activated” Bottles. Little did we realize what this meant when we downed the twelve pack between the three of us. After a little investigation, I discovered a difference between a cold beer from the fridge and an empty bottle.

Note the color of the mountains in the label. The cold one has Blue mountains, and the warm one has White mountains! It’s magic! How do the mountains *know*??? We decided that we would track down the head wizard at Coors Brewery, and have them use the same kind of magic on Jagged Spiral’s music instruments, so that when they are played out of time with each other, they will turn blue, so that even if we suck, we will still look cool…

Conrad Zero LogoYours Darkly,

Conrad Zero

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Lyrics for Ragnarök and the True Identity of the Antichrist

So I’m working on some lyrics for a song of a most peculiar nature, and I was wandering the wasteland of the internet looking for lyrics to end the world by. I was astounded to find out the TRUE IDENTITY OF THE ANTICHRIST!

No, Really! I really saw it! See, *that* is why I love the internet! It has Everything! The antichrist is so Totally Busted Out! HA! Yes, my friends, now I will share with you the name of the false shepard, the son of perdition, the agent of the world’s destruction:

Prince Charles of Wales is the Antichrist

I know, I was just as surprised as you are! I mean, he really doesn’t look that tough, I’m sure I could take him in a fair fight, but that’s the thing about those Antichristses, they aren’t likely to fight fair.

Like I said, I was kinda skeptical, but the proof includes the ‘fact’ that you can use some complicated mathematics to add up his name to get the number “666”. The math was a little awkward for me, so I simplified it here for you.

  1. Let any name that is “Prince Charles of Wales” equal the number 665.
  2. Add one, because, um, because there’s only one “Prince Charles of Wales.”

And WHAM-O!!! Now tell me that ol’ Chuck don’t have some SERIOUS explaining to do!

Never did find any good lyrical material though, but I’m sure there are plenty of words that rhyme with “Chuck”…

Conrad Zero LogoYours Darkly,

Conrad Zero

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Covering

Many bands have a musical reference to other bands that is integrated into their band image, usually in the form of covers, or in descriptions of the music. Even bands as preposterous as the Peppermint Creeps are providing us a cover of the Vapors smash hit: Turning Japanese. The local Minneapolis band, White Light Riot got their name from their musical heroes, White Lion, Gordon Lightfoot and Quiet Riot. And you simply don’t see a CD review without the music being referenced to other recordings.

Sure, people need a reference, and it’s almost impossible to tell people what the music sounds like. But it’s hard for bands to convey their originality when the review says they “sound like Band X”. Billy Joel already said, “There’s a new band in town, but you can’t get the sound from a story in a magazine…”

Covers in live shows are standard fare, they’re a quick and painless way to stretch out your set, and they are usually fun to play. But covers on recordings are sometimes used by new bands to ‘break’ into radio: “Hey, if you liked Band X then your gonna Love this Band X cover by new band Y!”

Musical comparison to other bands is required in Press Kits, and expected on websites and in the “sounds like” box on Myspace. I have no problem with giving a tip of the cap to your forebears, but I also wouldn’t want to become famous for a cover song. Are there Any famous ‘cover bands’? There’s plenty of famous ‘knockoff’ bands that try to be like someone else, and if you are a talented musician but an untalented song writer, this is the way to go. Weird Al Yankovich is a ‘parody band’ and therefore, the exception that proves the rule.

When most bands cover songs, they try to be extremely true to the original. I think that’s not always the best idea. The closer people get to sounding like the original, the less I like it. If I wanted to hear “Cars” by Gary Numan, I would pull out the 12″ vinyl record of The Pleasure Principle and cue it up. If your band manages to pull off the perfect cover of Cars, note-for-perfect-note, guess what? It still ain’t the real deal. You didn’t write it. But if you grab the song by the balls and give it a twist the way Fear Factory did on their Obsolete album, that’s pretty cool. They made the song their own.

The best twist on a cover song was the Scissor Sisters cover of “Comfortably Numb”. Brace yourself: its Disco. I’ll pause here to let that sink in – A Disco version of Comfortably Numb.

Sacrilege right? I would have thought so if I hadn’t seen them play it live at the Fine Line. Talk about making a song your own. It was pretty amazing.

Not that all cover songs need to be twisted. Led Zepplin’s “Rock and Roll” was made to be covered and played live, but there is no need for anyone to release a recording of their bands version of this song.

I’m blogging up all this nonsense about covers because Jagged Spiral is learning some covers to pad our (dare I say it?) live set. Each of us picked a song (and of course, we all have to agree that the other’s choices won’t make us puke). Colin picked “Temple of Love” by The Sisters of Mercy. We played through “Temple of Love” a few times, and decided it was a keeper, it’s a good song for us to play just the way it is, without much twisting at all. We will still sound more like Jagged Spiral than The Sisters of Mercy, and I think that’s a good thing, since we aren’t The Sisters of Mercy.

Josh picked Black Sabbath’s “Children of the Grave”. We haven’t practiced this song together just yet, but I think that song will suit us well.

I was waffleing over some ancient Marillion songs like “Freaks” but Josh asked me if I might like to cover the Fleetwood Mac song, “Tusk”. Wow. Simple, distinctive, catchy, cool. We listened to the song and talked about the tuning, structure and progression of the song. We are going to give it a try next week, and see if we can make it work for us.

Anyway, the image of Jagged Spiral is growing, as we pick cover songs that define us as a band, and as we pick out references to other bands for our press kit. We’re also working on a band logo.

It will be interesting to see what all this adds up to…

Conrad Zero LogoYours Darkly,

Conrad Zero

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Lefsetz on the New Reality of Band Marketing

Wow, Lefsetz nails it again. I guess I knew this, but it’s strange to read the cold hard facts. While “the old way”of band marketing still works (Just ask White Light Riot) that way is on the outs, and “the new way” that Lefsetz points out is how bands will gain traction and popularity in the new market.

Marillion is a band that really treats their fans well. Their fan club get a Christmas CD every year filled with odd covers, acoustic versions, and live performances. Every year Marillion has a Weekend Getaway, where the fans come from all over the world to hang with the band at a small resort and have intimate concerts where the audience helps to pick the setlist. On their 1999 release, “marillion.com” fans could send in their pictures and the liner notes were filled with fan headshots.

Because of their fan following, Marillion was able to get enough people to preorder their 2001 album “Anoraknophobia“, to cover all production costs. Twelve Thousand fans Paid Marillion to make an album. In advance. They were completely free of any industry pressures and made the album exactly the way they wanted it. Everyone who preordered the album got their name in the album credits. Why this was not widely publicized I don’t know, (maybe it was ‘cross the pond where Marillion live, but here in the States it was never mentioned).

Fans wear the band t-shirt and put the bumper sticker on their car, because they identify with the band image. It says, “This is who I am”. They want the band to hear their ideas and input. They want updates on what the band is doing during that long, dry spell between album releases and concert dates. They want to be connected. They want to be an extension of the band. “Street teams” the non-industry calls them. People who go out and put up fliers for the band out of sheer love of the music. People who spread the gospel of [Insert Band Name Here] on the street, just the way the Jehovah’s Witnesses go door to door spreading the word of the Lord.

I swear to Dog that the first person who comes to my door on Saturday morning wanting to talk about how great White Light Riot is, they will end up missing some teeth.

Conrad Zero LogoYours Darkly,

Conrad Zero

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Jagged Lyric Writing 101

Lyric writing is tough. Sometimes. On the “Days From Evil” album, I rewrote the lyrics to the song “Hallowed Ground” three times. *RE*wrote. Which means I wrote that God-Damned song four times, living with it through several rough recording sessions and living with the results for days, sometimes weeks before scrapping them in disgust.

In almost every case, I could tell as soon as I wrote the lyrics down that they weren’t right.

Yes, I actually write lyrics down. On paper. My preferred method is graph paper and a fine-tipped, black Sharpie pen, but often I end up writing on the back of some old German homework or a Chinese Take-Out menu; whatever is within arm’s reach when the lyrics start to flow. Junk mail addressed to “Occupant” also works well.

Inevitably, there are mistakes, or corrections, or improvements, or overhauls. Words get shuffled, replaced and rearranged. I try not to line out lyrics into illegibility at any point, just a couple quick lines through them, because several times I’ve gone back to lyrics I crossed out. I’ve only recently begun to have the laptop nearby to type lyrics as I write, but I still never delete lyrics that get replaced (even after the song is done) I move the words to the bottom of the page under an [Unused Lyrics] header.

There’s something about a lyric sheet that has all the corrections on it. I would love to have the lyric sheet that Fish used when writing “A Gentleman’s Excuse Me” or Roger Waters “Comfortably Numb”. Cut-n-Pasting on a computer is so sterile, and results in a perfectly antiseptic version of the song, all set to paste onto the internet, or the liner notes. But it’s missing the *process*. The crossed out words are the trail the author took to get where the song is now. I haven’t yet been able to part with any lyrics sheets even if they were later replaced with something else, even if they outright sucked. Looking through them is like looking through old pictures.

Sometimes Melody comes first. It helps to think of the lyrics as a guitar or keyboard solo. Hum random melodies or random lyrics (called ‘Scat’) over the top of the music, and see what lays well. Copying the melody from existing guitar rhythm will always work. It’s also almost always Lame-O, so start there if you like, but try to move away from the guitar rhythm as quickly as you can. If there are any existing solo parts, try to sing in variations of the solo. I’ve had really good luck making melodies out of the Drum line, a trick I discovered while listening to Rage Against the Machine. Punch your vocals with the kick drum, scat to the repetition of the snare. If you have trouble thinking up scat words to say, just grab a book, or open a newspaper and grab a phrase and repeat it different ways. I recommend Not using phrases that you recall from other songs, “Every Day is a Winding Road” or “Everybody Must Get Stoned” for instance; it is easier to use phrases that aren’t already locked to a melody in your head.

Sometimes Words come first. Listen to the rhythm and wonder what the song is about, as if the song were already written and your job is to guess what the lyrics are. Start with the mood and speed, that should be easy. Then think of the music as the soundtrack for a piece of video. What words describe the scene? What words can be used to describe what’s happening? I always like to start out with a theme for the song in mind before I start doing scat lyrics, ususally the band will come up a temporary name for the song so we have a way to reference it, and I will use that as a springboard for lyrics.

Rarely do people write lyrics for a song before a rhythm is set down, but it is possible. As an experiment, I came up with a melody line and wrote an entire songs worth of lyrics for even going into the studio. Then I picked up the bass and wrote a bassline to go with the melody. It turned out really well. The song is called “Push Me”, and sounds awfully “Pop” for Jagged Spiral, mostly because of the heavy vocal hook. Don’t forget that if you ever need a source of lyrics, you can always go back to your old unused lyrics from other songs! (That’s why you shouldn’t throw them away!) If you are poetic, or tend to write stories or poetry, there is another valuable source for lyrics.

If you are foolish enough to attempt a Concept Album, then the work of deciding the story/theme of the album will help you greatly by giving some direction to the song before you write a single lyric. In the case of “Days From Evil” the album concept developed after 3 or 4 of the songs were finished. As the other songs developed, we would consider where they would best fit in the overall concept. Some of the songs were difficult to fit in, and it took an artistic handgun license to coerce them into position. For instance, the song “Monsters” sounds like it is told from the perspective of a child. So it only made sense to have it at the start of the album, but unfortunately, it’s not a very powerful start. It was moved to the second track, and considered a ‘flashback to the hero’s youth’.

For those brave few souls who have read this far, I give to you my best kept secret: Burn a CD or load your MP3 player with a version of the song and take it in the car with you. I do my very best lyric writing in the car, while on the way to or from work. Yes, I am the fool you see screaming at the top of my lungs on the way up 169N. Even better, if you have a long distance to drive, just loop the song over and over. If you get stuck or frustrated, turn the music off, or sing along with other songs, and come back to it later. Planting the seed of the song with unwritten lyrics into your subconscious may have some interesting results. I have pulled the car over to write lyrics on a napkin because a sudden lyric jumped into my head that was completely unrelated to the morning DJ talk…

Oh yes, always carry something to write with, so you are ready when lyrics happen. I’ve actually used my cell phone to call and leave a message at home of the scat vocals before they slipped away.

Persistence is the key. Even if you think you have something, keep singing it, and be critical and honest with yourself. Get a second opinion from someone who is going to be honest and objective with you.

Two last things to think about when writing lyrics:

  1. Don’t be afraid to let lyrics stay that you aren’t happy with. I’ve dropped some random words into a song line and kept them there “till I think of something better” and actually grew to like them.
  2. Don’t be afraid to let go of lyrics that you like, or worked Really Hard on. Yes, it was a difficult road to the second rewrite of “Hallowed Ground” but it just knew that it still wasn’t right, even though everyone said the lyrics were ‘just fine’. It was almost painful to completely scrap months of hard lyric work and start over a third time, but in the end (on the DAY before we went into the studio to record the lyrics) I rewrote the song, thinking that we could use the new lyrics if the band liked them better. In the end, we all agreed the new vocals made the song much better.

Conrad Zero LogoYours Darkly,

Conrad Zero

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Does Practice Make Perfect?

At the very least, practice makes us realize how really really ridiculously far from perfect we are.

But tonight, Jagged Spiral had arguably the most productive and rewarding practice session we’ve had to date.

Last week, Josh tried to sneak an I-Book into the studio, (like we wouldn’t notice or something) anyway, he had this great idea to lock in the tempo of each song, and use the I Book as a really expensive metronome, and he would play to a click track.

I can’t tell you how awesome an idea this was.

It’s awesome because now I trust the drummer. Before, there were times when Josh and Colin weren’t ‘locked’ in time, and I wouldn’t know who to follow. Colin admitted the same thing happens to him; Josh and I get out of sync, so who is right? Well, we decided that the drummer is always right, even if he’s wrong. That solves some problems, but there are also times when Josh has an entire six pack of Red Bull before he comes over, and we manage to play a 45 minute set in 25 minutes, and Col and I can barely keep up.

These problems are a thing of the past. Will we be able to do this when we play live? SHOULD we do this when we play live? Dunno, but it has made practice much easier.

Tonight’s practice seemed like our first Real band practice. We brushed up on material for a couple hours and jammed our first cover song (Sisters Of Mercy’s “Temple of Love”).

Then, we worked out a set list (! !! !!!), and played it all the way through, with very little time between the songs. It lasted about 38 minutes. Several of the songs are simply rough structures with no lyrics, so there is still lots of work to be done. There are several songs that are unfinished, several songs from Days From Evil that we simply can’t play yet, and several cover songs that we would like to learn, but just having a list of songs that we can play nonstop for 38 minutes is pretty awesome. After the practice I was burned out, my voice was nearly shot, but I was SO jazzed. And my hands didn’t hurt at all.

The practice is starting to pay off. We are by no means “tight” and for a three piece, we need to be as tight as possible, but I think we are at a really good starting point. It wasn’t long ago that we couldn’t play a single song that wasn’t an audio disaster, and it wasn’t long before *that* that we hadn’t even played together at all. We have quickly learned the disadvantages of being a “studio band” a mistake we won’t make again.

Baby steps, man. Baby steps. Which reminds me that I’m not supposed to mention that Colin had to move a baby stroller out of the way to fit his gear in the Jeep. A fairly non-metallic moment, but like I said, I’m not supposed to mention that.

Conrad Zero LogoYours Darkly,

Conrad Zero

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Months from Evil

Alas, a couple minor glitches are keeping the Version 1 master of “Days From Evil” being declaired as Finished. Surprisingly, the issues don’t have to do with the sound, they have to do with the track markers; where each track starts. The track markers for Monsters and The Last Song had to be nudged around a bit.

The version 2 master was completed on Friday the Thirteenth, 2007. We are giving the version 2 master a thorough listen, and have even uploaded some of the songs to myspace (www.myspace.com/jaggedspiral).

Once the “Days From Evil” master meets our exacting standards, we will stamp it with the Jagged Spiral Seal Of Approval…um, that is, after we design the Seal, and once the Seal meets our exacting standards…

We still have to design the cover art / liner notes, as well as select the official Jagged Spiral Band Logo.

Work, work, work. Oh well, even though the pay sucks, we don’t complain too much, since we can all drink on the job and the dress code is pretty lax…

Conrad Zero LogoYours Darkly,

Conrad Zero

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Days From Evil – Mastered?

I feel the need to dispel some rumors about Jagged Spiral, and the lack of blog postings in recent weeks.

  1. I (Zero) have Not been abducted, drafted, or admitted/committed to any institutions for rehabilitation. Any recent visits to foreign countries were completely voluntary.
  2. Josh has not jumped on the Rehabilitation bandwagon, nor checked himself into Hazelton, nor shaved his head, although I can neither confirm nor deny rumors that he shaved his armpits.
  3. Colin has not left the band to start a secret, underground society which plans to overthrow all other secret, underground societies.

No, No, and No to these and many other silly rumors, I assure you that Jagged Spiral is not only alive and kicking, but feeding the musical fuel tank with beer and burritos and generating on average two new songs per month. If we ever finished the songs, that would be noteworthy.

Also, the album Days From Evil has come out of mastering and we have given it several listens in different venues, including in the car, in the studio, in the living room, in the bathroom, in the bedroom, and that one time we tapped into the PA system at Southdale Mall, which caused lots of fighting, riots and oddly enough; breakdancing. All in all, we are happy with the results and should have the album declared as “Finished” any day now.

We have also narrowed down options for a band Logo, and sketched some ideas for cover art.

Stay tuned…

Conrad Zero LogoYours Darkly,

Conrad Zero

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